“HE’S SMALL.  

HE’S WILD.  

HE’S IN YOUR WALLS.”

GNOME! 🏡

The Garden Menace • The Forbidden Shrubbery’s Favorite Son • CPW’s Most Dangerous 18 Inches of Fury

Real Name:  

Unknown (and unpronounceable if you ask Curt Candid)  

Nickname:  

GNOME!  

“The Exclamation Point of Doom”  

“The Garden Goblin”  

“The Mulch Menace”  

“The Feral Flowerbed Fiend”  

Alignment:  

Chaotic Neutral (leans heel when hungry)  

From:  

Cheesesteak Pro Wrestling (CPW), Philadelphia  

Billed From:  

“The Forbidden Shrubbery”  

Height:  

2’10” (varies depending on hat)  

Weight:  

??? (scientists disagree)  

Style:  

Ambush Lucha‑Gremlin — sudden bursts of speed, unpredictable angles, under‑ring teleportation, bite‑based offense, and an uncanny ability to appear exactly where he shouldn’t be.  

Affiliation:  

The Garden Gnomads  

The CPW Gnome‑Based Economy  

Seasonal Variants (Holiday Gnome, Summer Gnome, Gnome‑o‑Lantern, etc.)  

GNOME! is not a wrestler in the traditional sense.  

He is a phenomenon.  

A cryptid.  

A problem.

Born (or summoned?) from the overgrown hedges behind the CPW arena, GNOME! became an instant cult icon the moment he scuttled out from under the ring and bit a referee on live stream. Since then, he has multiplied — literally — spawning a full ecosystem of gnome‑adjacent entities including The Garden Gnomads, The Mulch Muncher, The Gnome Who Lives in the Ceiling Tiles, and the infamous Gnome Who Shouldn’t Exist.

GNOME! doesn’t speak.  

GNOME! doesn’t blink.  

GNOME! doesn’t obey the laws of physics, booking, or common decency.

He simply appears, causes chaos, and vanishes into the nearest potted plant.

Despite his size, GNOME! has become one of the most feared and beloved figures in the SWF multiverse. He’s unpredictable, uncontainable, and somehow always involved in storylines he was never booked for. If a light flickers, if a cable shakes, if a wrestler screams backstage — odds are GNOME! is nearby.

He is the mascot of madness.  

The avatar of anarchy.  

The tiny terror who changed CPW forever.

Signature Moves

- Gnome Drop — Leaps from a high place he should not have reached  

- Mulch Muncher Bite — Self‑explanatory, unfortunately  

- Shrubbery Shuffle — Zig‑zag sprint that confuses opponents and cameramen alike  

Finisher

THE GNOMEBOMB  

A top‑rope (or ceiling‑tile) diving headbutt delivered with reckless, feral joy.

Entrance

There is no music.  

There is no pyro.  

There is only a sudden rustling in the entranceway shrubbery…  

…a tiny hat poking out…  

…and then GNOME! sprinting full speed toward the ring like a cursed lawn ornament possessed by caffeine and vengeance.

Crowd chant:  

“GNOME! GNOME! GNOME!”  

(usually followed by someone screaming as he bites them)

Personality

- Feral  

- Curious  

- Easily distracted by shiny objects  

- Loyal to the Garden Gnomads  

- Hates leaf blowers  

- Loves chaos  

Allies & Rivals

Allies:  

The Garden Gnomads  

Mulch Muncher  

The Forbidden Shrub Sorcerer  

Anyone who feeds him  

Rivals:  

Small Business  

The Mannequin Menace  

The Pier Phantom  

Anyone who tries to mow the lawn  

Story Hooks

- GNOME! accidentally becomes SWF’s unofficial mascot  

- APEX tries to capture him — it goes very badly  

- GNOME! discovers the Titan Factory and causes a week of chaos  

- A mysterious “Gnome King” arrives to claim him  

- GNOME! forms an unlikely friendship with Sparky the Dalmatian  

- Curt Candid is forced to interview GNOME! live on air